How I (mis)spent my time as an Aber
When I was an Aber, I spent my time in foolish ways. I was taught to primarily concern myself with feeling good, taking it easy, soothing negative emotion, and tending to my "vibration."
I filled endless notebooks with Abraham-Hicks quotes, “virtual reality” fantasies, gratitude lists, and other feel-good, Abraham-approved exercises.
I didn't do much in the way of fruitful action, because my energy had to be "lined up." I had to be inspired. This was the Art of Allowing.
Remember, according to Abraham-Hicks (A-H), how you feel is of utmost importance: "Your purpose is to feel good and watch what happens, feel good and watch what happens..."
Who wouldn't prefer the route of "vibrational alignment" where all things you want are drawn to you versus "resistance" and "pinching yourself off from Source?"
So I made Feeling Good my job.
- I shifted my emotional states by working my way up the emotional scale
- I napped or meditated or distracted myself when I wasn't feeling good
- I basked in feelings of appreciation, inspiration, joy, power
- I dreamed up new goals and let my virtual reality become the most important reality
- I uncovered and transformed old limiting beliefs
- I lived for insights and emotional breakthroughs
I believed this would change my vibration and my point of attraction. And therefore my outer reality would also change to match my vibration.
A fool's errand
A-H regularly weaves big promises about how life will change for those that practice the Art of Allowing. In fact, no interaction with A-H is complete without hyping up the hopes, dreams, and expectations of followers.
Not only can we supposedly be, have, and do ANYTHING, but the circumstances will align themselves, effortlessly. The Universe will deliver all that we dreamed up. The journey will be exhilarating. And the mouths of people around us will fall open as they see us thriving in our magical lives.
It is Law! Says Abraham.
There are a few finicky parts you need to get just right. It's quite the delicate balance.
- Be careful not to mess up your vibration by noticing that what was promised is not in fact happening.
- You probably thought you were focusing on what you wanted, but it didn't show up, so clearly you were focusing on what you didn't want.
- You probably thought you were feeling good, but you weren't. Otherwise your results would be here. (Oh no, no. That's not circular reasoning. It is Law.)
- Try again. And yet don't try at all.
- Jeez, don't make so much of all this. Just relax already.
- It's actually the FEELINGS you're after anyway. So let's just allow nice feelings to replace the actual progress we erroneously thought we wanted.
The futility of all this "vibrational work"
Eventually my powers of denial eluded me, and I noticed that all this vibrational work did not in fact WORK.
It is hard to notice this deception when you are taught to stubbornly accept only ideas that feel good to you.
Abers know for sure that I must have been improperly focused or not truly feeling good like I thought I was. How do they know this? "Because if you had really shifted your vibration, you’d have different results! The universe shows you what you are vibrating, every single time! It is law!"
The only acceptable explanation to a believer is that their perfect belief system is being performed imperfectly.
But the blame really rests with the unworkable ideas of vibration and A-H's spin on Law of Attraction.
There is enough truth and wisdom provided within the A-H Teachings to see benefits. But the presence of benefits is not proof that the far-fetched premises are also valid.
Often the pay-off is in the positive emotions Abers themselves are taught to conjure. Law of Attraction teachings have us chasing, manipulating, and exaggerating emotional states. Moods. In real life, a mood can be defined as “a temporary state of mind or feeling.”
I was spending my precious time, not aligning with the core of the universe's creative power like I believed, but overindulging my temporary inner states. Making a mood.
I took the stipulated emotional journey. But it was akin to drawing images in the sand or painting with water.
Over-emphasizing emotional states: a counterproductive practice
I shake my head now at how I misused my own time. Like countless others, I thought I had discovered "The Secret" to happiness and uncommon success.
But I have improved my life so much more in the years away from A-H than in my 5 years in it. When devoted to Law of Attraction, I stagnated or even moved backwards in some areas of my life. Is that any wonder, considering my misguided emotional priorities?
Granted, many people do not pay enough attention to their inner states. Of course it's important to care about how you feel. It's the gateway to mental and emotional health, healing, personal development, and so much else.
But excessive, singular attention to mood can become a huge, unnecessary distraction--and obsession. It leads to LESS harmony because of the constant monitoring and pressure to feel just right, or else.
Furthermore, I no longer consider manipulating emotions to be healthy or wise. For many, it can be a workaround, a band-aid, escapism, and/or a substitute for deeper healing.
Emotional awareness and emotional self-care is so valuable. But trying to feel good all the time, becoming a mood perfectionist, can have nasty consequences:
- avoidance, denial
- repression, numbing
- warped emotional and psychological functioning
- fear and panic when not feeling the "right" way
- and more subconscious pressure and strife than there was to begin with
This is arguably the most damaging Abraham-Hicks lie of them all, the lie that negative emotion indicates being "pinched off" from Source, pinched off from your own Inner Being, and attracting negative manifestations while delaying the positive ones.
The message at the heart of this, no matter what's explicitly stated, is that some emotions are good and other emotions are bad or to be feared. As a result, the majority of emotional states feel unsafe and become intolerable. Feeling less-than-great becomes a signal to distract yourself or push thoughts and feelings around until you're happy again. The entire process of "deliberate creation" hinges on this.
You do not have to manipulate your emotions. You do not have to fear how you feel. You do not have to constantly monitor, control, and fix-fix-fix.
Some of it was helpful. An important note on benefits
As already stated, of course emotional care and inner work are valuable. Not just valuable, life-changing. Much of my Aber life was spent in goal-setting and psychological exploration. I was enjoying insights and inner breakthroughs all the time.
It gave me permission to dive into the work of examining my psyche, overhauling my life from the inside out, and taking charge of my mind and emotions.
With or without the Law of Attraction package, the following will always be powerful, invaluable undertakings:
- Introspection and connecting with yourself (Know Thyself)
- Getting in touch with your spirituality
- Defining goals and directing your life
- Increasing self-efficacy and belief in your capabilities
- Choosing your attitude toward your circumstances
- Becoming conscious of old beliefs that were ruling you
- Recognizing and re-framing counterproductive thinking
Abraham-Hicks provides many psychological tips and tools, though they aren't labelled so plainly. Law of Attraction is essentially self-help, and the job of self-help IS to provide tools and beliefs that empower.
You could say that where Law of Attraction teachings really shine is in providing a compelling reason to apply self-help tools faithfully. I imagine providers would see improved compliance in therapy if they too started promising patients unlimited life success in return.
These tools, plus a vigorous can-do attitude, are the reason for much of the magic that convinces, excites, and hooks many Abers.
But A-H comes with an extra helping of ideology, which is when a self-help movement starts to blur into dogmatic and cult-like.
Help and harm can be bundled together in a single package
The helpful content within A-H does not neutralize the harmful content. Truth, half-truths, and lies can co-exist in one package, having a mixed effect on the consumer.
As soon as I accepted the Abraham-Hicks concept of vibration and Law of Attraction, I was set on a course that had me, more often than not, misunderstanding how the world works, spinning my wheels, and grossly misusing my own time.
When disillusionment set in, I regretted my involvement with Abraham-Hicks. I wonder what I would have accomplished in that 5-year period if I had avoided this deceptive "shortcut" and lived a more balanced, effective, and reality-based life.